Emotional Weekend

Friday was my rest day and I had meetings in Marion. It was a sunny day and I enjoyed the nice drive and afternoon tea with a good friend. I also got new running shoes because my old ones had a defective issue. The whole heel broke! The new ones are same brand just updated style, they actually are much more comfortable and cute. So yeah for a free upgrade!

Saturday I ran 6.2 miles in 1 hour and 9 minutes. I felt very sluggish the whole run. I almost didn't go that morning because I was having such bad sinus pain and a horrible stomach ache. However, it turned out to be a beautiful day and not a bad time at all! I will rejoice in a 11 min miles considering less than 3 months ago I was working really hard to be around 12 min miles. I also enjoyed a leisurely evening walk with Lil and Abednego. Lil just loves watching the kids outside. I am sure I won't be able to keep her from the park this spring and summer.

Sunday I only did a mile run. So naturally I was done in less than 11 minutes. It was rather pathetic! It was cold out and my heart/head just wasn't there. I haven't had a good cry in a really long time. I was supposed to get baptized that evening and I just was feeling really sick about it all weekend. So after many tears, a couple good friends prayers, more tears, and talking with the hubby I decided I should wait. I realize that baptism doesn't save you so I just felt like this wasn't my moment. I am still trying to process the whole thing. But I am glad I waited.

I finished Sunday off with milkshakes with mom and some retail therapy! I got a new dress for $5 bucks it only needs slight alterations and a trench that fits like it was made for me. It is super cute. I am really hating my clothes right now nearly everything in my closet is too big. So I think I will be taking it all out and trying to sell it. Then hopefully taking the proceeds and buying some things I can feel good about. In some ways it is hard to part with the fat clothes. Because I worry what if I need them again especially after baby #2. However, I have to keep telling myself I will not go back and this is a lifestyle commitment pregnant or not!!! So maybe parting with them is exactly the next step I need!

Today I am trying to get a lot done at work because I travel later this week. Lillian is sick and I am still fighting whatever I have. I might breakdown and schedule a dr appt. I have a running rest day today too. I am very thankful I still just feel worn down and need some time to recoup. I am logging all my food this week. I have struggled not losing lately because I am getting lazy with logging calories. So I am committed this week anyway!